I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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