HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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