life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
