So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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