these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
