the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
