So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
