I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize