You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
