There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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