Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
