Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
As shirtless as possible
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
