yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
