Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
