Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
