Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
