I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
