why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
