last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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