Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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