In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
