All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
