I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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