So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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