It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
