so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my being single is dangerous.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
