Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Your cock deserves a montage
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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