I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
