thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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