i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
