So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
