Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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