She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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