we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize