He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
that's an acceptable place to lick
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
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