We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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