Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Holy shit dude........stairs
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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