Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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