I am puke
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
