So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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