Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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