I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize