I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
