with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
