I feel great
I just peed on a car
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
