South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
