i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize