I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
