Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
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