There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
