Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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