are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
