Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
