let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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