Nicole vs. Life
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
