I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
