Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize